Time for change

The past week has been mind blowing. This blog has been converted to “work” stuff and well, this post is work related and personal as well.

I have done well in my quarterly reviews and as the quarters have gone by (read 5 years) my manager has relied on me, to such an extent that in his mind I was the manager. I refused the title every time it was brought up. ( that will need another post)

He quit two weeks ago, and I am in a different org all together. I will have a new manager very soon.

I was touched when he was asked to sum me up in a single word :-

  1. Well rounded
  2. Reliable
  3. “You will shine”

Yet, the imposter in me is refusing to take these as compliments, apparently its hard to receive compliments in BA. But, I am having a hard time taking it . Why?

  1. I feel I am not technical enough to be here in BA.
  2. I stopped feeling the job was challenging about 4 years ago.

I don’t want to do anything about 1. (this will need another post) . And point 2 makes me wonder if I have much more to offer. My new super boss (Read VP) seems to want to involve me in most things. It could be because I hold the knowledge in my head, and also my manager who quit told me he spoke very highly of me.

He also told me that I am better than the director I shall report to, and that I would have nothing to learn from him.

The question is , why am I here then? . And where should I go if not here? .

I feel sad to let go of a relationship I had established and had grown so used to . I did have tears at the farewell party we had.  I guess I am still sappy- even now, at work.

Not meant to be in the BA. I suppose.