The past week has been mind blowing. This blog has been converted to “work” stuff and well, this post is work related and personal as well.
I have done well in my quarterly reviews and as the quarters have gone by (read 5 years) my manager has relied on me, to such an extent that in his mind I was the manager. I refused the title every time it was brought up. ( that will need another post)
He quit two weeks ago, and I am in a different org all together. I will have a new manager very soon.
I was touched when he was asked to sum me up in a single word :-
- Well rounded
- “You will shine”
Yet, the imposter in me is refusing to take these as compliments, apparently its hard to receive compliments in BA. But, I am having a hard time taking it . Why?
- I feel I am not technical enough to be here in BA.
- I stopped feeling the job was challenging about 4 years ago.
I don’t want to do anything about 1. (this will need another post) . And point 2 makes me wonder if I have much more to offer. My new super boss (Read VP) seems to want to involve me in most things. It could be because I hold the knowledge in my head, and also my manager who quit told me he spoke very highly of me.
He also told me that I am better than the director I shall report to, and that I would have nothing to learn from him.
The question is , why am I here then? . And where should I go if not here? .
I feel sad to let go of a relationship I had established and had grown so used to . I did have tears at the farewell party we had. I guess I am still sappy- even now, at work.
Not meant to be in the BA. I suppose.